So I got to the house last night, fed the animals, watered the plants, ate some dinner, watched Jeopardy. It was about 7:30pm and I wanted to swim in the pool before it got too dark.
The pool was bathwater warm, perfect because the night was getting cool. I did a few laps, and then I just floated on my back, enjoying it all.
Out of nowhere, the dogs ran to a part of the yard beyond the pool, barking. I figured it was a rabbit, and with their shock collars on, they can't chase after it. No big deal.
Then their barking got more ferocious. Odd. I popped my head out of the water. With my glasses off, I made out a big black shape. I got out of the pool as quickly as I could, and shoved my glases on my face.
It was a bear.
A motherfucking black bear.
Shit, shit, shit, shit.
The bear was ambling back into the woods, but I tore into the house, soaked from the pool, my feet slipping on the tile floor. I grabbed the phone and called the brother of the woman I'm housesitting.
"Um," I asked him as calmly as I could, "do they frequently have problems with bears?"
"Uh, no. You should probably call 911 and report it."
The next ten minutes consisted me of running around the yard in a bathing suit and a towel while I tried to round up the animals and tell 911 what I was calling about. Please picture this mess, if you will. Emergency response connected me with the state police, and they were extremely apathetic, as I expected them to be.
I kept the animals in the house all night and an eye out on the woods. Nothing. I left them out the dogs out this morning and there's been no issue since.
Things like this don't happen to most people. Just me and my fellow dorks.