Sunday
Jul132008
Things Just Happen To Me
Sunday, July 13, 2008 at 8:21 AM
Starting yesterday, I will be housesitting for a month for friends of the family. Their house is huge, complete with a pool, wireless Internet, two dogs, and a cat. It's also near some woods. People who don't know me very well tell me that it must be awful to stay in a big house by myself. Those who do know me say how much I need this break from my parents' basement. They know me very well.
So I got to the house last night, fed the animals, watered the plants, ate some dinner, watched Jeopardy. It was about 7:30pm and I wanted to swim in the pool before it got too dark.
The pool was bathwater warm, perfect because the night was getting cool. I did a few laps, and then I just floated on my back, enjoying it all.
Out of nowhere, the dogs ran to a part of the yard beyond the pool, barking. I figured it was a rabbit, and with their shock collars on, they can't chase after it. No big deal.
Then their barking got more ferocious. Odd. I popped my head out of the water. With my glasses off, I made out a big black shape. I got out of the pool as quickly as I could, and shoved my glases on my face.
It was a bear.
A motherfucking black bear.
Shit, shit, shit, shit.
The bear was ambling back into the woods, but I tore into the house, soaked from the pool, my feet slipping on the tile floor. I grabbed the phone and called the brother of the woman I'm housesitting.
"Um," I asked him as calmly as I could, "do they frequently have problems with bears?"
"Uh, no. You should probably call 911 and report it."
The next ten minutes consisted me of running around the yard in a bathing suit and a towel while I tried to round up the animals and tell 911 what I was calling about. Please picture this mess, if you will. Emergency response connected me with the state police, and they were extremely apathetic, as I expected them to be.
I kept the animals in the house all night and an eye out on the woods. Nothing. I left them out the dogs out this morning and there's been no issue since.
Things like this don't happen to most people. Just me and my fellow dorks.
So I got to the house last night, fed the animals, watered the plants, ate some dinner, watched Jeopardy. It was about 7:30pm and I wanted to swim in the pool before it got too dark.
The pool was bathwater warm, perfect because the night was getting cool. I did a few laps, and then I just floated on my back, enjoying it all.
Out of nowhere, the dogs ran to a part of the yard beyond the pool, barking. I figured it was a rabbit, and with their shock collars on, they can't chase after it. No big deal.
Then their barking got more ferocious. Odd. I popped my head out of the water. With my glasses off, I made out a big black shape. I got out of the pool as quickly as I could, and shoved my glases on my face.
It was a bear.
A motherfucking black bear.
Shit, shit, shit, shit.
The bear was ambling back into the woods, but I tore into the house, soaked from the pool, my feet slipping on the tile floor. I grabbed the phone and called the brother of the woman I'm housesitting.
"Um," I asked him as calmly as I could, "do they frequently have problems with bears?"
"Uh, no. You should probably call 911 and report it."
The next ten minutes consisted me of running around the yard in a bathing suit and a towel while I tried to round up the animals and tell 911 what I was calling about. Please picture this mess, if you will. Emergency response connected me with the state police, and they were extremely apathetic, as I expected them to be.
I kept the animals in the house all night and an eye out on the woods. Nothing. I left them out the dogs out this morning and there's been no issue since.
Things like this don't happen to most people. Just me and my fellow dorks.
in dorkiness, environment, nature
dorkiness, environment, nature 
Reader Comments (6)
Wow..that is scary!
A bear... A bear... How long until I can make jokes about this?
Oh man, that's crazy! A part of me would have wanted to run and grab my camera. That usually does the trick for getting rid of things you don't want around but want to take pictures of anyway.
OMG. I'm impressed that you had enough thought to call 911, I'm pretty sure I would've grabbed the pups, dived into the house and cried on the couch!
I probably would have peed myself and then I would have died on the spot. That's so crazy. Do they make bear repellent?
WIGSF-- Meh, you can start now, I already have.
Phil-- Haha, oh totally.
Traci Anne-- I only called because the brother of the woman I'm housesitting told me to. Otherwise, I totally would have just hid out on the couch too!
Amanda-- I'm not sure, but I will be checking...