Friday
Sep262008
There Are No Nerds In West Virginia
Friday, September 26, 2008 at 7:01 PM 
Living close to the West Virginia line, we can pick up their radio stations pretty clearly. This is how I found out there are no nerds in West Virginia (at least Morgantown).
So this one station was playing 80s songs at noontime, and capped it all off with a clip from an 80s movie. Guess the clip, win a gift certificate. "It's really, really easy," the DJ said.
The clip, transcribed, was:
Female: Let go, please.
Male: Don't get excited.
Female: Captain, being held by you isn't quite enough to get me excited.
Male: Sorry sweetheart. I haven't got time for anything else.
Any nerd worth their salt knows its The Empire Strikes Back.
I didn't think this would take long.
The first caller, shy female: "Um, is it Look Who's Talking?"
The DJ: "Nope, sorry!"
It was at this point that I started talking to the radio like a dumbass.
Me: "Look Who's Talking?! Come on now!!"
Second caller, loud female: "Hello? The answer is Star Wars!"
The DJ: "Uhh, that's a little vague. Which one is it?"
Second caller: "Uhhhh.... its uhhhh.... oh no, oh no... it's Star Wars, but I don't know which one..."
The DJ: "Sorry! But that's a hint!"
Me: "THE EMPIRE STRIKES BAAAAACK!!!"
Third caller, friendy male: "Howdy! You have an answer yet?"
The DJ: "Nope, go ahead!"
Something in the guy's voice made me think I could have faith in him. I should have know better.
Third caller: "Is it Indiana Jones?"
The DJ: "Close, it's the same actor, but nooope!"
Me: "AHHHHHHH!!!"
By this point, I was invested. I had to hear the winner. But first I had to suffer through a Toto song. Toto is one of those bands that should have stayed in 1982.
Then finally, finally, finally.
Fourth caller, timid female: "Um, hi, do you have an answer?"
The DJ: "Not yet! You wanna try?"
Fourth caller: "Is it The Empire Strikes Back?"
The DJ: "Yeahhh, but what's the full title?"
Fourth caller: "Full title? Um, um... Star Wars? The Empire Strikes Back?"
The DJ: "That's it! I just needed the full title. You're lucky I didn't ask for the episode number."
That would be Episode V.
Man, this blog will get me a boyfriend FOR SURE.
in movies, nerdiness, pop culture
movies, nerdiness, pop culture 
Reader Comments (7)
Okay, so there aren't any nerds in West Virginia, but I guess there's at least one in Pennsylvania.
I probably would not have been able to answer that question specifically with The Empire Strikes Back. Mostly I just make fun of that movie A LOT because Luke whines so damn much. I like the original 3 Stars Wars movies, but Luke just gets on my nerves.
West Virginia should be collectively shamed out of the Union, just for that.
Toto, on the other hand is always welcome. Totally made DUNE come alive on the screen with his ham-fisted, over-the-top orchestrations.
You should've called in!!
But ha! I know that feeling.
WIGSF-- This would be accurate.
Phil-- Haha, he does whine a lot, especially to Yoda.
thraygun-- I'll take your word for it.
deutlich-- I thought about it, but I couldn't remember the phone number, hahah.
He probably just googled it. What a wookie.
Get it? Rookie = wookie?
Oh my gosh! How could those people not get that?? I feel old. But I think you're right in just blaming it on West Virginia. Did you see that Daily Show clip about them during the primaries? "West Virginia's new state motto should be No Interviews Please!" Hilarious. Like your blog! I love reading it!